Posts Tagged ‘dinner’

American Hot

Let’s set the scene: Hot date tonight, bit nervous, you’re thinking of taking him/her out for dinner; unfortunately your fine dining venue of choice is booked solid but lo, through the autumnal gloom you spy a familiar blue and white logo signalling food on the horizon. It’s a Pizza Express: at least it’s familiar and it won’t break the bank – and it means you can spend more time ooh-ing and aah-ing at each other rather than at the food, right? Along comes your waiter/waitress, shiny of hair and sparkling of teeth; they open with ‘Hi gorgeous… and what would be your fancy tonight? Do you want to get Sloppy with Giuseppe or shall we get down and make it American Hot? Oh and can I interest you in my doughballs?’ … Do you a) slap their face and walk out in righteous indignation b) smile bashfully, think they’re a much hotter prospect than your date – you’re in there! Or c) belatedly remember that Pizza Express have now trained their staff in the dark arts of ‘subtle’ flirtation and make a mental note to never darken their door again? Read full post

The Restaurant Rules

In the Sunday Times recently food critic AA Gill positioned himself as Moses on the Mount and laid out his Ten Commandments for ‘profitable dining’ aimed at restaurateurs. To name but a few:

1. Do not open a restaurant because you love feeding people and want to welcome them to your place. It’s a business, not a party.
2. A restaurant is a factory – dishes must be repeated to perfection ad nauseam.
3. Every facet of a restaurant that can go wrong will go wrong – it’s an expensive business.
4. It’s a delusional business – no chef eats his own three-course menu and no manager eats in his own dining room.
5. Restaurant PR is a waste of time and money.
6. Location means nothing. If it’s good they will come. If it’s bad, they won’t.
7. Restaurant success is a complete unknown – there is no formula, no rules – it either goes right – or it doesn’t. Read full post

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